Merry SWOTVAC to one and all! University students the nation over will be retreating to their bedrooms, stocking up on Nescafe Instant Blend and staring at assessment calendars with an overwhelming sense of I-can’t-even-be-fucked-anymore. Stress generally affects people in two distinct digestive manners: you either stress eat or stress starve. A friend of mine progressively became thinner throughout year twelve feeling nauseous every time she had an assignment due – which was all the time – then progressively gained weight as soon as she left year twelve, fell in love and was deliriously happy. Others however, have a textbook chapter to Cadbury chocolate block ratio of 2:1. There are ways around this however, that combine our love of procastibaking with our overwhelming, intoxicating and awe-inspiring adoration of absolutely everything cookie-related.

Cookie dough hummus.

“Cookie dough dip” has been doing the rounds for a few years on Pinterest, Tumblr and cooking blogs throughout the wide expanse of the Internet. The basic premise is uncooked cookie dough with no eggs or anything else that will go off and cause salmonella poisoning.

In the spirit of not slowly regressing into our early pubescent years of zits and chub due to constant sugar highs, this recipe for cookie dough dip is gluten free, sugar free*, dairy free and can be vegan if you swing in any of those directions.


  • 400g can of drained chickpeas
  • 1/2 cup of peanut butter**
  • 2/3 cup of honey (if you are vegan the best substitute is probably rice malt syrup which can be bought at Coles or Woolworths for the same price as honey)
  • As many chocolate chips as your heart desires


Put your drained chickpeas in a food processor and blend until they are a thick paste. If you don’t own a food processor, don’t worry: chickpeas are super soft and can be mashed up with a blender/handheld beater/fork. Throw in your peanut butter and honey and continue to blend. Mix through your chocolate chips by hand and viola!

I know you are probably sceptical that four ingredients – one of which is chickpeas – could possible taste like cookie dough; but it seriously does. Enjoy with a spoon, on toast or continue to make your way through that Cadbury chocolate block with this slathered on top.

*Except for the chocolate chips but they don’t count as chocolate is delicious

** I use homemade peanut butter which has a far less peanut-buttery taste than store bought peanut butter. If you aren’t a big fan of the peanut butter taste than I suggest almond butter which has a much more subtle taste.